Breaking Through
Breaking Through is a faith-centered podcast about hope resilience, and discovering God's light in life's most difficult moments.
Breaking Through
Breaking Through Regret
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Pastors John and Val discuss regret: How it affects us and how we can use biblical wisdom to work through it and free ourselves from the guilt and shame.
intro
voice over with outro music
Hi, I'm Pastor Val Mez.
SPEAKER_01And I'm Pastor John Mys.
SPEAKER_00And this is the Breaking Through podcast. It's coming right to you from the first Global Methodist Church of Union City, right here in Northwest PA.
SPEAKER_01And today we are digging into regret. Regret is one of those things that everyone deals with on one level or another. And it can paralyze you. It can absolutely, if you don't have the tools to deal with it in a peaceful and healing manner, it's just paralyzing.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Regret isn't always a bad thing, though. If dealt with properly, it can drive your life in a more positive direction. And it'll allow you to have avoid the pitfalls that will definitely show up along the pathways of your life.
SPEAKER_01And as always, we'd like to open with a word of prayer.
SPEAKER_00Aaron Powell Let us pray. Lord, just open our hearts right now to you that as we talk about regret, that we can turn to you and turn that journey into something positive that can lift us up in your name. Amen.
SPEAKER_01Amen. Well, I've had one huge regret that I've lived with for the great majority of my life because I I did it to start with in the early years of my life, and uh it kind of stuck with me. And that's when I first went off to college after high school, I joined a fraternity, I partied too much, and I ended up dropping out, and I didn't go to college and and finish college like all of my friends did. And it was something I was always ashamed of that I hadn't actually gone and finished. And later on I I went into the army, I did my acting thing, I did all kinds of other jobs, but I went back and tried to pick it up where I left off, and again I just didn't finish. And I began to think that it was just something I was never gonna do. But what God had other plans, and in the long run, what he had me do was go back in my 40s and finish, which was horrible because I had to learn all over again how to go to school because everything was computer-based then, and it made it a lot more difficult, but he did have a plan to bring me back around and to get me and in into and through college and even through seminary and a master's degree. So he had a lot of uh plans for me that I didn't really realize when I was spending all of those years regretting not going to school.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I know that really has stayed with you, and I and I'm like, that was some of my regrets. That's a big one. And you think about lots of times we have to just plow through school and do the four years, and and then you know, you you stopped and and went off to the army and different things happened in your life that um brought us together. I'm not sure if you would have finished those four years we would have ever met. But so in a way, I'm glad for your regret. But then, you know, that that that is the journey. Sometimes God, you know, when we have a regret or something, we don't make that turn. God takes us another way and does bring us out on the other side. And maybe that's uh one of the ways when we look at regret that we can say, hey, um, that that that I didn't make that turn, or, or it, I it it seems like I failed incredibly at the end of that first year, or the stops and starts. But what an amazing way to look at it on this side and reflect on it and be able to say, you know, how does regret really just kind of, I don't know, can can nag at us, can stay with us, and how do we move forward with that in our faith? Because I think it's one of the hardest things, especially I know that's I think sometimes we joke about your regret, especially as our girls started school and stuff, we kind of say, well, don't do what your dad did. And that is not nice. And, you know, I have my own regrets, even though I went through all four years. But it's also just it is important when we look back and say, how can we look at it? How can we positively move forward with it? How where does God want us to resolve those things? It's it's I think it's a great subject because it just opens up wide for we all have these regrets in our lives.
SPEAKER_01Well, when we talk about regret, scripture shows us that that not all regret is the same. And the Bible makes this distinction really clear between the story of two different disciples, Judas and Peter. Take Judas, for example. After he saw that Jesus had been condemned, he was filled with remorse, it says, and he returned the thirty pieces of silver, and he even admitted, he said, I have sinned by betraying innocent blood. But instead of turning back to God, Judas let it consume him. He was consumed by despair, and he ended up ending his own life. And in Matthew 27, we see that his sorrow stayed focused on him, on himself, his failure, his guilt, his shame, and it led to destruction rather than healing. Now compare that with Peter. Peter denied Jesus three times, and when he realized what he had done, Scripture says he wept bitterly. His failure came from fear and weakness, not from a hardened rejection of Christ. And what's beautiful is that after the resurrection, Jesus intentionally sought Peter out. He restored him. And that reminds us that God's desire is always restoration for those who turn back to him.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I that's an important distinction. I mean, that that moment with Peter and Jesus, when he Jesus makes the fish out on the lake, it's one of my favorite stories of this restoration for Peter and making that distinction with Judas, who walked away from it after that, is just so important. Scripture really separates regret from repentance. And even with regret, there are different kinds. Sometimes regret comes from poor decisions that aren't necessarily sinful. You know, things like showing, you know, choosing the wrong career path. I know, you know, making one turn there, missing an opportunity. I feel like that's happened to me, or making choices that simply didn't turn out well. That kind of regret can be handled differently. It calls us to trust God's providence and learn from that, those moments in our past and extend grace to ourselves as we grow, which is I think hard to extend grace to ourselves in those moments. A verse that might come to us to in this moment isn't from the epistle of Romans, that letter that Peter wrote, 828, and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Uh, this reminds us that even in our missteps, uh, we can be woven into God's plan, inevitably.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. And I mean, that's my story is kind of uh this this non-sin regret where where we just choose the wrong path, like I chose not to finish college. But I dwelt in it and I let it linger like Judas did, and I really let it focus in on myself and talk about how and I I talked about how guilty I felt about it. The key here is that it led me to sin. I lied to people about it. I lied to myself, I lied to God. God knew better, obviously, but but I lied to you, I lied to my family, I lied to people, then I tried to tell them I finished college. And I was so ashamed, I didn't want people to know that I had failed. And that led to a sin regret. And sin regret is is different. Regret connected to sin is different. Sin-based regret calls for true repentance. Second Corinthians 7, 9 through 11 says this. It says, Yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended, and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance, that leads to salvation, and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you. What earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter. So godly sorrow produces repentance, and that leads to salvation and leaves no regret while worldly sorrow produces death, and that's the contrast we see between Peter and Judas. So the real question isn't whether we feel bad about what happened, it's what the sorrow leads us to do. Does it drive us into shame and isolation, or does it bring us back to God where forgiveness and restoration are waiting?
SPEAKER_00Wow, that's that's I that just really sits well with me. I I need to see it from that perspective. And what we really need to discuss here is biblical repentance, one of the most foundational themes in Scripture, and and really is one of the most inner it's misunderstood. The Bible presents repentance not as optional, but as urgent. Jesus says plainly in the Gospel of Luke, chapter 13, 3, unless you repent, you will all likewise perish. That's really strong language. And later in Acts of the Apostles 17, 30, we're told that God commands all people everywhere to repent. But that command doesn't really come from a harsh or impatient God. It comes from a merciful God. That I think that we really need to hear that. Um, scripture says God is patient, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. And in Romans, Paul says it's actually God's kindness that leads us there. That wow, I just love how thinking of it that way. Repentance is not God trying to push us away, it's his invitation to come back. And that's just so distorted in our society. People think, you know, that that that's not that God's pushing us away, but it's really this invitation to come back.
SPEAKER_01I that's such an important starting point because repentance often gets reduced to simply feeling sorry. But biblically, it's much deeper than that. The Greek word used in the New Testament is metanoin, which literally means to change one's mind. It's not about emotion, it's about a real shift in thinking. And the Old Testament, the Hebrew language often describes repentance as turning back or changing direction. And so there's this inward decision and then an outward turning.
unknownWow.
SPEAKER_01That means remorse may be part of repentance, but remorse alone is not repentance. You can feel terrible about something and never actually change. True repentance is a decision about the future, turning toward God and away from the thing that separated you from Him.
SPEAKER_00Wow, exactly. That just makes so much sense. And scripture is really clear that repentance should produce something visible. It is not just internal. So it should be seen on the outside. In in Matthew 3:8, John the Baptist says, be it bear fruit in keeping with repentance. In other words, there should be evidence of this repentance. Paul echoes that in that same thing in Acts 26 when he says people should repent and turn to God, performing deeds consistent with repentance. So if repentance is genuine, it changes our actions. And we were listening to a podcast about that. That, you know, this guy was talking about his repentance and something that he wished he regretted, and then he changed his action of how he looked forward. And we were listening to that, and that just really, you know, his priority shift, our priorities shift. And so our choices shift, and the direction of our lives begin to change. We make different decisions. And that's where when we look at scripture, it draws a sharp line between godly grief and worldly grief. Second Corinthians says that godly grief produces repentance that leads to salvation, but worldly grief produces death. That's harsh. One leads to transformation, the other leaves us stuck in our guilt.
SPEAKER_01And that transformation usually involves several parts. It's not just one moment, it's a process. First, there's acknowledgement. We have to honestly name the sin. And then after that comes remorse, the healthy sorrow that recognizes how we've offended God. But from there, scripture calls us even further. It calls us into confession. The first epistle of John in uh chapter one, verse nine, says, if we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. But Proverbs adds another layer. It says, Whatever conceals, whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and forsakes them finds mercy. That's important. Confession without forsaking isn't complete repentance. There has to be that turning away.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that that's right. And and repentance always includes humility. You know, if you look at Chronicles in the second book of Chronicles 7, 14, God says if his people humble themselves, pray, seek his face, and turn from their wicked ways, then he will hear, forgive, and heal. There's a relational movement there, turning away from sin and turning towards God. So repentance is not just stepping, stopping our bad behavior. It's returning to relationship. Our relationship with God.
SPEAKER_01And that's where repentance reaches its purpose. In Acts 2, Peter tells the crowd, repent and be baptized for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. That's the promise. Not just forgiveness, but restored fellowship and the presence of God in your life, in our life. And Jesus gives us this beautiful picture in Luke 15. He says, Heaven rejoices over one sinner who repents more than over 99 righteous people who don't need repentance. Think about that. Repentance brings celebration in heaven.
SPEAKER_00Oh, wow. That's just a wonderful thing to imagine. And so repentance isn't just saying, I'm sorry. It's more, it's much more complete than that. It's recognizing this wrongdoing, feeling genuine sorrow, confessing honestly, committing to change, and then actually walking in obedience. Kind of reminds me of Ephesians, you know, walk in the way of the wise. And it's it's a transformed heart that's expressed in this new transformed life.
SPEAKER_01And that's the hope in all of it. Repentance is not meant to shame us, it's God's way of restoring us, and it destroys regret. His kindness calls us, his his forgiveness receives us, and his spirit empowers us to live differently. And that's why scripture speaks so strongly about it. Repentance is not just the doorway to salvation, it's the pathway back to joy and healing and renewed relationship with God. Well, thanks for joining us for this podcast that was all about regret and repentance and redemption. And we hope you will join us next time on Breaking Through.
SPEAKER_00Goodbye.